


Something to Live For part 15

by Phsbarbie



Series: Something to Live For [15]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M, Literature, Romance, fan fiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-27
Updated: 2014-05-27
Packaged: 2018-01-26 19:58:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1700654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phsbarbie/pseuds/Phsbarbie





	Something to Live For part 15

    Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Dead center of the target, every shot. I savor the feel of the recoil. There are few things in this world as relaxing as target practice. The stress from the Normandy refits, wedding plans, and those damn recurring nightmares fade away and, for a moment, it's just me and my pistol.

    We've been back on the Citadel for two weeks now and I feel like I haven't had a good night's sleep that entire time. Every time I close my eyes the image of Shepard dead on a battlefield stares back at me. It doesn't matter how much I hold her, kiss her, or make love to her, that image haunts me. I take a deep breath and let it out, squeezing off a few more rounds. If she was a different woman or I a different man I might ask her to forget all this. Maybe move out to one of the colonies or settle down on Earth, leave the danger behind for someone else to handle. But I'm not, and neither is she. It's not in either of our natures to leave the job to someone else.

    I knew there would be danger when I joined the Alliance, even more so when I joined the Spectres, and I accepted this without hesitation. I would give my life in an instant if called upon to do so, and I guess I always thought that would be the hard part. It isn't. The hard part is loving someone who would do the same. Shepard has always thrown herself head first into fights and has always made it out the other side, but the woman was practically paralyzed a few months ago. I take another deep breath and let it out, aiming for the target's head.

    I guess Shepard's fitness test will be the decider. I'm probably worried about nothing. I fire a shot straight through the target's forehead. At least my sleep deprivation hasn't affected my aim any. I told Shepard I'd be gone for a couple hours since I had planned to meet up with the guys for a few drinks, but now I think I'll just head home. Shepard's stuck there for a day or two, recovering from her recent surgery- they fixed her L3 implant- and a night on the couch with popcorn, old movies, and her sounds pretty perfect right now.

 

    I resist the urge to throw popcorn at the screen. Did she really just ask Kaidan if I wear white lace or black leather to bed? I get now why Kaidan didn't want me knowing about these interviews. He refused to tell me who asked the really bad questions but he should have known better. There was no way I was going to let this drop. So I wrote to Emily Wong and told her I was trying to put together a video compilation of Kaidan as a surprise for our wedding. I needed access to all the uncut footage she had of him and in exchange I'd give her a tip about my wedding.

    She agreed in a hurry- everyone is trying to get information about our upcoming nuptials and we've been guarding it viscously. I then proceeded to make the same deal with every other reporter I could think of. Once I received all the footage I sent them all the same piece of information- Liara is my maid of honor. I then proceeded to ignore all of their messages insisting that wasn't the level of information they were hoping for. Oh well. That's all they're getting.

    Khalisah Bint al-Jilani is looking at Kaidan expectantly on screen, like she's honestly waiting for his answer and it never occurred to her that he wouldn't give it. Kaidan just raises an eyebrow and stands up.

    "I think that's enough questions," he says and turns to go. Khalisah blanches.

    "Wait, Major! The people of Earth have a right-" Kaidan whirls back around and interrupts her.

    "You think the people of Earth deserve to know what color underwear Commander Shepard wears?" She blushes slightly, but keeps her gaze steady.

    "The Commander is a public figure, with the hopes of an entire species pinned on her. Don't you think her life should be transparent?" Kaidan meets her gaze, keeping his face calm, but his eyes- oh his eyes are furious.

    "No, I do not. Good day, Miss al-Jilani." I make a note to never so much as give that woman a sound byte again. Yes, I'm vindictive. No, I don't care. No one has ever had the nerve to ask me these questions, fearing the repercussions if they did, as well they should. Now that I know Kaidan's been subjected to them the same rules apply. They'll be cut off from all further interviews, they won't even be privy to the Normandy's press releases. I don't think they would've given me unlimited access to their film if they knew that.

    Diana Allers is up next and she was even more eager than the others to get news about the wedding. I think she was hoping to be invited, but I have a simple rule about the guest list; if I have to get you to sign a non-disclosure agreement to be certain you won't broadcast the details then you're not a good enough friend to be there. 

    I pull up the copies of her interviews on the Normandy, scrolling through until I reach Kaidan's. It starts off simply enough, asking about the war and how it feels to be the second human Spectre. She starts going into murky waters when she asks what it's like serving under me again instead of running his own division, but it's a fair question so I let it go. Then, just as I think she's in the clear, she asks this:

    "So, Major, it's a well known fact here on the Normandy that you and Commander Shepard are romantically involved. Do the two of you think you're above all Alliance regulations, or just some of them?" I nearly choke on my popcorn. That bitch did not just ask him that.  Kaidan responds with his signature steady stare. Allers complained once about Kaidan giving her that response. If I had known it was in answer to this question I would have kicked her off my ship. Diana realizes Kaidan isn't saying anything and tries another angle.

    "Is it fair to say that you receive special treatment for sleeping with the Commander? Has the crew begun to resent you for it yet?" Kaidan't expression doesn't change, he simply gets up and leaves the room. I pause the playback and seethe. Is this why he wouldn't move up to the captain's cabin with me?  _This_  is why he was worried about preferential treatment? I wish Allers was still onboard my ship just so I could eject her from it. I narrow my eyes at her picture on my screen.

    "You, I will ruin."

    "And why would you want to ruin Allers?"

 

    Shepard jumps at the sound of my voice and turns slowly to look up at me over the back of the couch, her smile just a little too bright.

    "Hey sweetie. What are you doing home so soon?" I raise an eyebrow at her.

    "Sweetie?" I look up to see the image of Allers frozen on the screen, noticing for the first time myself walking out the door in the background. I groan. She found the interviews. "Shepard, why?"

    "You wouldn't tell me about the interviews so I had to find them myself," she says defensively.

    "Did you ever think there was a reason I didn't tell you?" I walk past her spot on the couch on my way to our bar. "I can take care of myself, I don't need you to do it for me."

    "Hold on," she says, standing up and following me to the bar. She puts her hand over mine on the bottle of liquor I reached for, forcing me to look up from it and at her. "That's not how this works. I take care of you and you take care of me. Kaidan, you dug me out from under several tons of rubble and played devoted nursemaid for months. The least I can do is put the fear of God into some reporters for you." I set the bottle down on the bar a bit roughly and turn my full attention on her.

    "Shepard, I'm a major in the Alliance, a Spectre in my own right, if I had wanted to terrify a reporter or two don't you think I would have done it? Every time you do something like this you make it look like I only got to where I am because we're together, like I can't take care of myself." Her brows furrow together.

    "When have I ever done that?" she asks, honestly confused. I counter her furrowed brow with my own look of exasperation.

    "Angel you have twice thrown me over your shoulder and carried me off a battlefield.  _And_  you're half a foot shorter than me!" She blushes slightly, but isn't ready to back down.

    "Im not much shorter than you in mag boots!" she counters. I sigh and rub my forehead.

    "Not the point, Shepard."

    "You were unconscious on Mars. What was I supposed to do, leave you for the Reapers?" I'll give her that one, but I'm not ready to back down either.

    "And Virmire?" I challenge instead. "I wasn't even injured that time." She glares at me for a second, trying to come up with a good reason before blurting out,

    "If you had such a problem with it, why didn't you say so at the time? I would have put you down!" I think back to that horrible day all those years ago and soften my voice considerable before answering.

    "After having to make that call with Ashley and nearly being dropped off a cliff by Saren, I figured maybe you just needed to hold someone."

    "I did," she says, her voice also softer, her words lacking their previous heat. "Kaidan, every time you've nearly lost me I've nearly lost you right back. I can't help being protective of you, of what we have." I sigh and open my arms to her. She steps towards me and I wrap them around her waist, pulling her close and resting my chin on her head.

    "You need to let me fight my own battles Shepard, and let me decide which ones are worth fighting." She gives a long, drawn out sigh.

    "Fine. But I'm still never giving interviews to al-Jilani or Allers agin." I smile and press a kiss to the top of her head.

    "That's fair." I pause a moment before continuing. "Just out of curiosity, how were you panning to ruin Allers?" She pulls back slightly and looks up at me with a wicked grin.

    "I was going to have her security clearance pulled." I laugh.

    "You are quite vindictive, aren't you Shepard?" She snuggles back into my chest.

    "Only for you, love. Only for you."  


End file.
